Square Root of Zero Intern Application

Due to the enormous interest in the Square Root of Zero we are now accepting applications for an intern.


  • Read and review comments.
  • Post replies to the comments.
  • Offer a perspective on the blog content.
  • Mix a good Martini.
  • Find the eye of the wind, man the gunwales, make fast the halyard and keep us from capsizing.
  • When you have a brilliant idea, whisper it to me first. Otherwise I look sort of like a Day-Dream-Johnny, you know?
  • Affix little rabbit ears to our helmets so we can pipe in music.


  • Female, 18-21 years of age.
  • Modeling experience a big plus.
  • Ability to speak Italian, Swedish or English.
  • Massage Therapy training also a plus.
  • Score an average of 8-10 on a scale of 10 for attractiveness.
  • Ability to single task.
  • Ability to proofread (or just read).
  • Ability to work in a slow paced environment.
  • Ability to share the Glock with the other interns when we are sailing the Caribbean.

The internship is unpaid.  However, the prestige and notoriety alone is priceless. We here at the Square Root of Zero would never ever take advantage of your youthful optimism.  In fact, you should probably pay us to show you how the real world works and take on large sums of debt for the opportunity.   You will get a Square Root of Zero Red Cap and Speedo.   And a free t-shirt, probably.  Think about how great you will look in the Red Cap and Speedo.  Be the envy of your friends.  This is the experience of your life.  Please forward a photo and brief description of yourself.  Our mission: is to SAVE the HUMANS from the coming robotic uprising of 2016.  SQUAREROOTOFZERO


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